Stop thinking of the negetive staff...

Trying to stop myself from thinkin the negative staffs like i wish to end my world or things tt can hurt myself so tt i can feel much better. I'm wrong cos I know tt God is with me last Sunday I did not go to chuch cos of some stupid reason firstly say wrong things early in the morning and broke my mom's heart and got angry with myself, secondly can't concentrate while havin Quiet Time with God. I am really angry and upset with myself, wishing tt I might die soon so my mom won't get too sad because of me, I know I had been giving trouble to my mom and my mom did not say a single thing to me... I cried to God the whole morning as my whole heart sank to the bottom of no where, I asked God for forgiveness for what I've did and thought tt is against God. I told God tt I am willing to change and willing to surrender my will and heart to God. As Romans12:1 tells us,"Present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptance to God." Be willing to sacrifice your agenda for God's greater purposes. When we make that choice, God can use us to do great things for Him. Right? I prayed for a long time and I heard like the holy spirit telling me tt God is with you always and God understand you. After hearing that i told myself tt I got to stand up firm and continue to walk in the path tt God wants me to go as I know tt God will show me great things but I got to be patient tts all... Thank you, Lord, I Love You, Lord!!!
Lord also let me found out that god is really listening to each of our prayers as for me it works in every way and the only key is to have Faith tt wat my gan kor always talks about...Haha There is a qeustion tt I wish God could answer me tt is about a fren of mine making fun of God sayin tt God is still on the cross and we are not saved, after hearing it I can't control myself and scolded him tt if u don't now anything pls dun anyhow say but good to say tt my fren did not hear it, if not we will sure end up quarrelling. I told God about this whole incident and God seems to answer me by one of my Quiet time with God I read this "Be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing."- 1Peter 3:8-9 We must have loving & forgiving attitudes. When the Saviour was insulted; do not repay with an insult. As we could ask the Holy Spirit for God's help, respond in a Christ like way to false accusation or gossip....