Hooray at last exams over already, don't know stress for how many days le. Can relax le but know preparing for my OBS camp haha I guess is God ask me to go so I no need to go NPCC camp bah. No need to be afraid about the sirs anymore le bleahx... Last few weeks while preparing for exams, a lot of things happen I cried a lot of times le even though I told myself need to be strong but still cry. Haiz useless, just feel so moody tt few weeks as my group members did not really talk much like last time cos of some problems, and also the time cos after exam straight away go home so never chat much. Things happen so suddenly, feel like there is a need to sit down quietly and think what I had been doing last few weeks. Everynight I will have my quiet time with God, I always Thank God for the day~, helping others to pray like my family,frens and exams and many more... Just Got to say tt I LOVE GOD!!!
In church, I learn a lot, I learn tt we need to accept ppl whose character or attitude bad or what cos God created them like tt and God will not make mistake de so He does everything with a purpose. After watching the cartoon tt teach abt all this I went home and speak to God den I felt tt if God made me a gal so I got to accept the fact cos I use to be a tom boy and tts wat my frenz told me. I need to change myself. Oh ya say until changing a person we should change our view on a person and not ask others to change cos some they are alr made lik this so we need to accept it.
Last Sunday, I don't know what is happening to me, I show attitude to my teacher den to my fren. I felt so guilty and feel like crying den later me and my fren sit together, I sat quietly not openin my mouth but just close my eyes and ask what an attitude I'm giving. I felt so sorry I wrote a note to my fren and ask her to forgive me, she she read and look at me and ask what happen I said nothin. I ask God for forgiveness, and my heart was sayin tt Do not let your emotion control you. Den while praise and worship we sang the first song and suddenly my tears dropped feel like goin to the washroom but I dun dare haiz cos dun wan others to know lo. I guess my fren notice I had been cleaning my tears away as she looked at me, but I pretend lik nth happen and continue singing. And this fren of mine I dunno how to say her la so rugged, she like to push me and I try to defend and stop her, I told her off. I said tt I do not like those ppl who are so rugged, and tt is y I don't really like to go with her. But I felt sorry about tt and I do not know did I do something rite or wrong. I scared tt I might break her heart. Oh no!!! Help me!!!
I don't think I can trust anyone now they had been hurting me since I created the problem.
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