HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!

Ytd n today was abt stayin at home to think STRAIGHTLY but end up think hay wire again.
I treated ppl real cold this few days, I even scold my loves one ****)':
GOSH!!! Wats happenin to me?
Sat nite was preparin my hearts for Sunday's worship but end up stayin at home.
Was being prompted with wat my fren said "Who r u goin there FOR???"
U ain't goin there for HUMANS!!! So y care wat they think or say or even gossip( ihopenot) abt u!!! But still was trapped under tt scheme...grrrr.... Start to read HIS word again but again end up sleepin-.-
Hmmmm when will i stop all thins?
Maybe shall sleep early tonite, though its kinda late now-.-
So tt tmr can wake up for tmr's jog at 6.30(:
then meetin SHER,brinz,remster,hanwei for project. Hmmmm...
My attitude is gettin bad to worst. I keep thinkin back... Times where i dun see JESUS there...
Tt really pull me down... I'm sorry, i'm sorry, I'm sorry LORD!!!
Why am i sayin helpless when u're alrd there for me tryin to equipped me but i ignore u.......)':
Hebrews4:15-16 For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet w/o sin. Let us come boldly to the throne f grace tt we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
I NEED THIS TO STOP!!! Lord, if u r willing, stop this... pls... I plead u... I need u!!!
I led myself astrayed, Lord, sorry to bother u, bring me back on to the righteous track...

DeeplyDemoralised...

Knowin tt aft i had happen but i'm sorry tt I'm not used to it...
Hurt her most this month... Wonder when will it stop?
I'm confused, if looked deeply into MY eyes i'm filled with tears.
Figurin out is tears of joy, sorrows or???

Felt tt i'm scary at sometimes, the moment i think tt think will happen.
It happen... THINK NOT DREAM leh HELLOOOS ARH!!!
I didn't mean to think tt way... Is tt coincidence or???
I'm scary....

I really miss the hug frm my mom... :'(
I need huggs? ehhh this sentence seems weird... HeLlO think straight oK!!!
Nvm save it for urself.... SPEECHLESS..... Shall con't my projS put all this aside then...HeavenlyDADDY AFT ALL I need u most still...I can't live w/o U!!!

Blasting Chirstian songs to help me out, i hope...Hillsongs...
Can words tt comes frm mouth, change the heart???

Fun & Excitin week eh...

This week was exciting, though my mind is still thinkin hay wires...
Things had start to change eh?
Realtionship with GodDaddy, family n frens... Changed...):
Uselessly cried out...
But my HEEEHORRR language still no change-.-
Shit man gonna become my habit soon, GOTTA CHANGE EVEN MORE!!!
I've been very noisy, but was asked to be even noisier-.- Shall be noisy in Ma'am's class ONLY!!!
I can't even stand myself talkin, disturbin non-stop.
My voice simply very ANNOYIN!!! GRRRRR!!!!Shall shut up!
Had been with Eric n Darren on our journey home.
Their dirty "interview" makes me LAUGH TILL almost VOMIT!!!!
REAL DISGUSTING!!! EWWW!!!
Pollutant pollutes ppl's mind...
Though he started innocently but others pollute his,
n now they pollutin each other even more! By addin worst funniest ewwwest things into it...
Sigh... POLLUTED!!!
Yeah I admit i seriously got the pollution in my mind, the word "F***" has been in my mind for quite sometime... I dunno, simply dunno though goin to YingJie's meetin, hearts opened but when home it resume to normal...sigh... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH wats wrong with me???? The "F" word just shoot out when something happen. goodness... sigh needa restart everything with GOD frm the scrap...
I'm sorry Lord... I'm insane now... Lord, take everythin out of me... If even better take this life away so i'll not hurt U even deeper... I dun deserve ur love... But y still love me???HeavenlyDaddy... all ur ans is in the book and I know sm of it, its stupid to fight against it...

Today was weird, I'm behavin weirdly...
Forcing myself myself to forget things easily so i'll not be lik the person who injured purposely. Sooner or ltr i'll forget how to talk to ppl all my topics will be Ooops I forget le... Speechless now a days i dunno wat else to say only keep disturbin ppl... Sop asking y emo!!! Though i rmb things I'll force myslef to forget so i'll totally forget...

Anw today is TIRING!!! Not funny to be a soux chef!!! Can nv shout, disgrace my sec sch cca nia...Purposely???
Angry wif tt BANDAGE!!! It reminds me of some things which i forget-.-
I'm tired, angry, confused, avoid, weird, ALL FEELINGS SURROUNDED ME!!! Grrrr...
So wat if u're big dun act ok!! I nv act big u NV TRY ACTIN!!! I HATE IT!!! I said stop being so GAUI LAN!!! N I mean it!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRR.......

Lord, sorry to pollute but... Bless me a fountain of tears. Pray tt tmr gonna be better...
But still Daddy thks for today, Knowin tmr will be better, praise U!!! WOOHOOO!!!

Lesb sorry tt i treated u lik tt cos it kinda pissed me off, n also my attitude probs were back I'm sorry...

I wonder wat happen this few days, I've been complainin within myself past few days.
Feel so sleepy n tired, were to sleep b4 10pm n now still awake at 12am...
Wats happenin to me n everyone?
Faith being build n crushed...
ARHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Who can ever understand? Things inside heart forgotten super easily I HATE IT!!! Once forgotten hard to rmb back... How to share lik tt... Total speechless...LORD! tts all i can call...sorry....