This Christmas, i dunno wat to say but just, sadded. the feeling its not rite ever since the quarrel started, i know neither wants it tt to happen, which is lik duh~
Can say tt, its tt night n the night at camp I cried tt badly, i dunno y.
Mum said if this happens frequently I'll be emotionally sick.
But i find tt if i cry out its better than keep everythin, n sinking into emotions lik wat happenin now.
Knowin tt others might realised this place has been abandon.
I just can't be happy, even if its the best thing of the best thng have happen, i might not be happy, I wonder y n how.I can't say it out, it'll worry, so many ppl. So scary!!!
But I want back the season of happiness, n thankfulness i found durin and aft the camp till, it happens:(
All I ant is to cry as hard as I can or just be lik my fren who wanna go svc to 诉苦...
Sighs only Lord, can help me...I believe by faith!!!

fren video this thks "BROS"

Yay! At last we're back to sch...
Aft weeks of chiong-ing work:)

Though the heart for it isn't there.
But for frens there's many:):)(hope so, but true for some;p)

At work learnt quite alot, blessed w alot of good n nice chefS
Funny, flirty, dirty... lols Kitchen life...
Met long lost chef CHEF AN!!!"Cep Ann"haha funny n nice, good chef n fren..
& Chef Desmond too:):) haha yippeeee.... So great...
Hope they'll still be there durin my attachment...

An awesome Sunday blessed by the mornin prayer w YingJie n grp @AMKCMC, P&W; SERMON(HOLY SPIRIT) ;unite with the spirit thru prayin in TONGUES @CHC:):)
Wat I learnt here i'll use it wisely in the market place;)

It really made me start off my week with great smile "some saw, some tot i'm still troubled...lol"
Blessed w the reply of attch:):) and newS... Awesome...

Woohooo Ever since MON YOUTH MEETIN w PASTOR KONG...
everything seems to be so HAPPENING!!!
I'm RESUBMITTED with NEW VISIONS!!!
WOOOOHOOOO!!!
Haha crazy me... But yea Sat went back to AMKMC hehe for FUNFAIR!!!
Was cool n many thks to JiaHui,Jeremy,Deyao for comin(:
As for CKW/BRO its alrt la haha;)
Hopin its not the last time to enter this church, but to the new buildin I'm comin back hehehe...
Needa be equipped!!! But for my frens this might be the last time i bring u guys there:(
Hope to bring u guys there aft it has rebuilt KEEP IN CONTACT chefs!!!
All my frens rmb is tt I'm being DUNKED!!! Eh thks DARYL(cousin) to pay tt $10 to dunk me!!!
As for SiXian dunno wats happenin to her when i agreed to be dunked but she didn't pay HAHA!!! N tt JiaHui is simply an awesome *GUN*SHOOTER!!!(no dirty tots!!!)His hand n eyes so cool la can!!! Javin will be the next haha!He won so many prize la can!
SHOCKED n DA KAI YAN JIAN!!!

Sun as usual went church:):) seems so ....... but the sermon inspired me though somehow i gonna fall asleep but i CAN'T! So yea hanged on n I benefitted!!! hohoho....

Mon was EXCITED for the YOUTH MEETIN w PASTOR KONG!!! Bt in e morning jog to return lib books, then went to take my pay Estha, Sher, Angie was there woooohoooos...
Then went home to pack up n off i went to the AWESOME meetin!!! I'm So Excited can...
Impt stuffs to be revealed n I'm listenin n I'm RENEWED!!!Visions made clearer...
Being re-ignited by fire of the HolySpirit. New task to be done b4 we can proceed to the main course... Jesus feeds by curds n honey; curds-HolySpirit(pray), Honey-the sweetness of the Word.
Sensitive to the spirit, the word is now my annointing. Yeopps I love u JESUS!!! U're my first love n I'm back to you...hehx;D
This song really make me think. I SIMPLY LOVE THIS SONG.

Chorus:

You're first love,

You're my true love,

You're my reason,

You're why I breathe.

I will give u my devotion

all of meX2

You chose the cross; you chose me

Surrender your life; you chose me

though I did not deserve; you chose me

So i choose to love; just as you chose me

I put you first; as you first love me

I'll treasure your grace; as you died for me.

Wah I'm SIAN LA!!!
Thank GOD tt PROJECT IS OVER WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!
Great!!! Trainings, work, church... hehehe tts my schedule...
Sch was-.- But time w daddy n frens were fun la, though it was quite disgustin...
Aft being open to it... Its actually nth its how u take it...
But wat ppl think is "does these ppl know basic respect for sexuality"
Lol suddenly i became so hmmm neutral!!!In between of both eh...
Aft sch Lunch w Ma'am in canteen w 3/4 class then for my cliques Half went POOL, Half went lan. I went w daddy.... As Promised to Darren n bone for not being a PSK!!!
Goin poool next round:):)
Class was all abt presentation.. Seriously I dunno wat came out of my mouth?
Wat did i said just now arh??? Anybody?? though it was horrible la...
But thks to Andrea he helped to talk alot:)
And during the lesson its kinda IRRRITATING!!!
The one beside, behind all talkin abt-.-
At home, in sch-.- I'M SICK ABT IT!!!
I'm soooo goin to tell, but i dun wanna hurt ppl ANYMORE!!!
Treating as a close fren but being misunderstood...
Had solution, thks Dr. ....!
I shouldn't be soft but u're also a bro in my church... Wat can i do???ARRRRHHHGGG!!!
Shall say tt, too bad tt dream WIll not leave me...
n also I'm no longer interested in guys... We'll see how, only aft yrs ltr n it'll only be ......
God do somethin abt this...

Yepps I'm done w PROJ!!!no1-.-
Still got 1 more to go...
But still long way cos of hols, april'sintake exams n stuffs...
FOCUSIN ON:
~CGM wooohooo I'm comin count me in when doin refreshment!!!
~Aft svc's lunch out!!!
~Guitar sessin w Andrea,Deyao n frens??
~JOGGING- TRAININGS!!!!! SLIM DOWN!!!alrt NO INSULT!!! ASSSSS!!!
~WORK!!! in need of money GG man I'm learning my lesson:'(
~revision...~.~
While surfing thru the net last few days... Came to this blog I'm amazed la...
Thru-out the whole journey He manage to put GOD, his church, his cell grp as no1...
Almost everyday he will be meeting out w them though he's busy in sch n stuffs...
I'm lik WOW!!! Cool! Somethin to think n really concider of doin.... GOD as priority...
iloveU!!!

Sat n Sun was truly an awesome time w GOD...
Sat went conerstone, Andrea's church. W e event "Love is ..."
w ZhaoHui, Kevin(Welcome to the FAMILY!!!), Deyao...
Made frens:) they're nice.... Andrea's bro n sis....
Most of them thinks I'm still in Sec Sch... I'm lik huh? haha!!!LOL!!!
Funny drama and a fruitful sermons:) Great fellowship/dinner w his CG...
True enough i dun belong there won't stay too long tooo...
Tt feelin was strong, strong till i can't feel GOD's pressence somehow a lil...durin PnW
NO CHURCH HOPPIN yepps tts OBVIOUS!!!
But as for chc I'm there for a purpose, coincidence/Godincidence... coool lik tt word:)

As for SUNDAY!!! WOOOOHOOO reveal of THE NEW BUILDING!!!
n its at SUNTEC CONVENTION HALL!!! HAHA!!! AWESOME can't get over tt excitement...
MARCH 2011 can't wait.... AHHHHHH!!!! AWESOME God's faithfulness:) ThankYou DADDY!!!
Met up w Jason in the mornin b4 svc w LiXuan. Lots of stuffs to share:)speak real fast... woah~
He just dun wanna reveal it to us first... humph... keep sayin ltr u'll know HAHA!
:X Then Deyao came intro n went for svc... AWESOME SUNDAY!!!!! ILOVESUNDAYS!!!
Its a day i meet GOD face to face n really rest on HIM...
The dream is gettin closer i hope... heehees... though its gonna be a long way to go but i'm waiting n confessing to HIM alone...
Though aft svc tot of eatin lunch w them but LiXuan goin home to celebrate her dad's B'day(HAPPY B'DAY UNCLE, though i dunno u lol)So went home con't proj still stuck,,,
Lord, I need u... I can't find anyonew better wisdom lik u... have mercy n grace on me bless me the wisdom to finsh this proj by tmr...iloveyou,lord i believe n trust in YOU!!!loves...

An urge to pray for the 2 of them... Will prepare n see when's the day n see how GOD gonna work in them... Bring glory to the kingdom of GOD. HE made all things with its purpose:)

GG man i shouldn't hav seen FB i'm outta my mind now...
2 of them has been added... WTH!!!???
Hey who r u arh... See handsome jiu add crazy typical gals...TSK TSK TSK!!!
But I still believe in tt dream tt I assume is frm GOD...
uh oh asked, should I tell??? confess confess....lols..........
No interest in other livin or non livin things...

Haha ytd went to meet the AMK makals aft sch to accompany wife to print things...
then roam n recall back abt the past nonsence stuffs we did... I seriously love them both....
JAMIE & KASTHURI!!!u gals rox manz... w/o u ppl i wouldn't be like this n won't be here tooo...
I MISS YA'LL!!!
CIRCUIT BREAKERS LETS MEET UP!!!!

Today I'm lazy to do everythin la... i'm lazy to do the brownie... So only sell ice pops...
my mouth seriously somethin wrong. Anw yeah today's early slag in demo kit, but intend to go home... I'm a pro of stand-sleepin now, i can do tt very well leh... WAH!!!-.-"
Then good there's space to sleep thk GOD for wakin me up at Bishan so i won't over shot AMK...
Then went home MEDI... then napped for am hr...then woke up to slack... TMR???busy time...
Everythin I needa slot aft my proj is done... Pray tt tmr I can finish...LORD, have mercy on me...

Oh well...
Things gettin good to bad, bad to worst n now is worsen...
I just feel lik running in to the road n u know~
oh welll... just wanna run away frm EVERYTHIN!!!
GOD I can't save myself... I didn't even realised how long i didn't hunger n thirst, weep n stood infront of YOU just to sense ur pressense... Its just aft pastor kong's sermon which spoken to me n reminded me... Yepps i wept...
I'm sinking but i can't...
Bring me back to the place where i shouted my last command, knowin tt I'll do a better job this time!! Let it out??not infront of others pls!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!! I DUN WAN!!! But wat if i did?
I'm feeling bad, not right... EVERYTHIN GET BACK TO UR PLACE YEAH?
Wats wrong w me? lettin the whole world know? TTS STUUUUPID!!!
The bass of this song makes me...
ThankGod still as I get sensitive to the SPIRIT, thanks for stoppin my physical hunger. iloveuGOD...

How much must I hate??? HAtin myself for hatin??? ...
I dun care... My evil side is out AT LAST! How evil can I be is up to me...
Chi new yr talk this lols... cos is damn borin... Cousin is e first to say tt ITS INTERESTIN!!!-.-"
Wat a CNY is this... U shouldn't have come....

Things in my mind flowin here n there serious hings dun wanna do...Projs all over still not done..
Wat i want is LEAVE ME ALONE!!! Let me cry all I want Let me hurt all I want Let me do wateva things all I want...
I've seen toooooooo many things... disapointed? i dunno...
Maybe i dun have e rights to be disapointed...
Clingin on?? I dunno leh...start to lack alrd...Pray for strength to cling back to u

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YR everyone!!!

Brinz this is specially for u:) MUST FEEL HONOURED HOR!!!! lol just kiddinXp....
Yea trully miss u loads man...
Okays last week was a short week,
as usual we sold whipped potato/mashed potato/potato mash...lol-.-"
& cheezy fries on tues... Yepps everythin went great...
Then thurs we only sell whipped potato n choc brownie...
Though there's somethings went wrong here n there but it was still okay la... can say so i think...
everythin sold within a few hrs tt was fast... Must thks to all...;)yepps tts all for fbec....
Anythings u wanna hear???

Today is another?????back to my line AWESOME SUNDAY!!
YAY!!! Haha, blessed day in church again.
Though i didn't go to jurongwest but expo it was still awesome:)
The pressence of GOD was still there:)
Yeah! goin back to amkcmc next Sun:) I'm missing them badly...
True though I was plannin to go back when no one recognise me...
Today's msg was awesome la, but RevPaul spoke super FAST!!!
Sentences all tgt at 1 breathe coool! Thank God I catch some of it, n it impact me.
1 of it i've learnt"We have to make a move b4 GOD can bless,guide,lead, n many more, for GOD is alrd IN US!!! N we're HIS temple."
The P&W was great too brought me into the pressence, though we're late for the first n yet its MY FAV SONG!!!!!!!!!!
"How Great Is Our God"reminds me of HE's my father,the scene whichI'll nv forget... Embraced in HIS arms,tears all over,alrt shall stop haha...
"Lord you're more than anything"This song is gonna be in me, THIS WHOLE WEEK pls DADDY!
May I pray tt this song will be the hymns for the week:):)snif snifsss....
But still I'm satisfied:) I go for the desire of CHRIST!
Shall stop sharin things to ppl anymore...Closest?Nehx!till I know who to say to...
Only CHRIST knows me best I'll share more w HIM no humans... Me included!Trust broken! forgetit!!! speechless though... Just nail them on the cross....Lord, Its time for u n me alone...
Cool look into FB start to see ppl confessin, speakin, n even preachin... Wanna be 1 of them:)
Lord, give me the courage to do tt... Tt I'll not be ashamed of U alone...

I realised i know nth much abt her...
Or maybe aft things happened, i've nailed the truth on to tt cross n forgotten everythin.
Thks bro once again...
Tot thru all this while, my conclusion: Time to stand up for my wrongs, no longer my rights... for i have no rightsThats me...Lik me hate me tts ur pasal...
Alot of u have been there for me for times thks.
N shall say its time to snap u guys off my mind... Sorry...
I dun deserve all this...
Jav keep complainin tt I'm too soft... Soft but firm:)
If i'm sayin things at the back i woundn't be writin it here rite, cos i know u'll read tts y i wrote mah... Lik tt still call behind lols...craps!!!

True I'm waitin for hell now:)
I prefer this way... At least i learnt somethin, cos i nv learn things in the soft way...
I'm stirring up anger for myself:):)
Sick n tired... BORING~Lord, why life so borin wan arh... I just lik this activities below
My life now is, simple... Sch,proj,jog,work...N MOST IMPT CHURCH!!!:D
Other than doin all things i'm bored!!!
I'll talk to u personally next week... I'm sorry i depend on the wrong light...Humble me n bring me back... I dun belong there... I've been trapped by evil...Lord, soften my heart, just break me...
Thk You for I start to see u workin in my grp, I start to see blessings pouring down... w just tt $15... Its alrd a great blessings from u...
Sowing n reaping.... If u give to GOD, GOD's blessings will pour on u abundantly!!!
AMEN!!:):) This week is awesomely awesome w HIM ard hehe.... ThankYou HeavenlyDADDY!!!
Bro thks for tellin, its a reminder for me thks again...

Haha I can't believe aft yrs, we're still listenin to the same song.
When same feelin occurs, we'll write tt song lyric out...
Though diff song but we'll listen the same diff song haha... Remind me of times u sing to me HAHA!!! Humming behind u...LOL!!! tt was so looooong ago...
I didn't know u're still stuck w ur love thing(crush),
hey bro when the time comes GOD will show... No point findin here n there...Waste of timeXp...
Tts y I'm nv in a hurry to find 1, though I've HAD once...
Last time I am, but now I'm not... Knowin tt U've gone thru this more than me...
U should know this more rite HAHA... BUT Singlelicious!!!is still my type HAHA!!!
Anw all the best to u(:(: Sotongbabi!!!

frm sotongpuppy(:(:hehe lovessss stilll....

Today's another awesome SUNDAY!
Had short sharin w CG(: cool there's where we start to confess...
To be firm w our understandings(:
2 diff homes... Same owner...GOD... Daddy, when the time has arrives do tell me(:
Listenin to ZAN MEI ZI QUAN songs... their worship songs were awesome some of it almost caught my tears but endurin haha cos I'm outside~
The diff between was one they were VERY concerned they can read wat was goin on...
Thru fb they know part of it n they talk to u abt it...
That makes us feel warm n shows tt u're not alone... N makes u feel home... We share heart to heart probs...
They get to know faster, n more than anyone else thks CG loves... new love for GOD...
the other is tt they dun even know u're there, hmmm i does tt too sorry peeps...
I'm learnin n I'm changin... Actions DO speak louder than words...VERYTRUE!!!
thank u HeavenlyDADDY, thank u, love u love u & i love today's SERMON!!!
Infact it truly touches me...
Thru all the songs in between I find it cool... N it really goes well w the sermon...AWESOMENESS(:(: ANW I shall be back to humble myself... Lord, Humble Me!!!

HAPPY 1day late BIRTHDAY LixuanDEAR n LESLEYloves!!!:)

This few weeks have been sinning, repentin sinnin and repenting...
SHIT everytime pass by the cross will look then start to daze..
Lord, I'm sorry, knowin tt lookin to the cross U've take all away.
thks!
I've been strugglin inside me, yepps suppose nt to say it here..
Anw yea lettin go was truly a big step, though i thot i did it.
But aft some words still hurts by bringin them back.... Kinda irritatin...

Alrt shall not blog abt it as sense the free frm chains rite now:):)
N yea shall talk abt this few days then, yea ever since things starts to happen.
Past came back:) Went back home, out w the old grpies:)
HAHA ppl who made me laugh till stomachache...
I've learnt a big lesson... Always be a fren and not a leech!
I've shared w them a few stuffs, n best part is nonsence stuffs is back HAHA!!
Yea n Thurs went for prawnin w the whole class was awesome:)
Haha BOSS taught me how to prawn n pool aft our late lunch w the whole grp(1 disciple cannot have 2 mastersHAHA!BOSS&SALLY)...
Cool was great time out w classmates our bond seems to improve lil by lil...
It always takes 2 hand to clap. This occurs in all situation.
Wow this few hard lessons, all this phrases just came out arh... Not bad not bad:)
Haha yea pray for strength to conquers all things tts against me...PTL PTL!!!!!TYL!!!<3<3esss

U comin up to the max rite...
I'll NV cry abt all tt situations tts comin up by you anymore.
This is the last time though my eyes hurts...Nv worth it...
Be as bitchy as you want.ni zuo chu yi wo zuo shi wu...
Just a reminder b4 u regret, Shut ur bloody F mouth up to listen to wat others say...
U nv change n u'll regret for life...
U wan give me hell, I'll give u heaven....
Vent ur anger on me... I'll not... but u nv know...
Though I can't talk fast neither can I think fast nor can I react fast...
U change n train me to do tt!!!
RMB IS U CHANGE ME TO DO TT ON YOU!!!!
Words comin out of ur mouth is nv true... Watch it man...
I'll nv let it go thru in my ears its even worst than nv put it to heart.... HYPOcrite...
U nv know wat is happenin behind u...
Ur voice is damn sharp, till NO ONE CAN HEAR ME!
Dun believe I shouted over till my mom came out yet U con't w tt voice of urs...
tts y I said SHUT UR MOUTH UP N LISTEN TO WAT OTHERS HAVE TO SAY!!!
Slow minded ppl(me), needs time to think, i shall declare tt INFRONT OF UR FACE!!!
Who ask i'm inherited w this, blame me lah!!!
keep tt volume low la, infact i gonna say tt he didn't even scold or even raise his voice at u..
Know tt U started it first okays... Cos use ur ears n NOT UR MOUTH!!!

Last nite was a good good nite:) at least i stopped tossin ard n sleep thru out...:)
though I tossed on the bed for the whole of ytd... I can still sleep:):)
I was very restless ytd, the usual pain, knocked on the wall to cover up for a while then fell asleep again. I'm like dieing man... Dots the medi do make my stomach feel ewwwww...
In the evenin Brinz called, I was lik GOD thk u tt at least someone woke me up frm my deadness...Talked craps as usual... HAHA lesb part....
Then off to bed again-.-" till 8 dad came to visit me haha as usual too he always visit me when I'm sick... N the power of forgiveness took place:) Thank U heavenlyDaddy... I start to appreciate, compared to last time... Yea...
Then 8.30 YingJie called:) It was really great time w her:) at first bro picked the phone, she finds him familiar then she asked me.... Was shocked tt my bro is JAVIN HAHA... As she's their sunday sch teacher hehe... AWESOMENESS AE!!! I've learnt quite alot thru sharings n talkin dahahaha... I was hmmmm&Ya-ing thru out e conversation:) Then shared quite alot... Then back to sleepin GG...
Let us not revenge but let GOD avenge for us:):)

Taday though it was truly a disaster, but everythin came to an end..
I sincerely appologise.. To all esp to those who was hurt badly infact was the whole grp rite.
Yea at least i slowly found out how to plan n organise well... I mean i got a pict...
Aft the serious meeetin of anger, sadness n disappointement...
I learnt alot of my mistakes... Will do a better job...
N also realise alot of myself... Though some I knew it long ago but its time to step out of tt comfort zone... Pray tt I won't go too far...humble n gentle heart..
This lesson I'll rmb in my heart... THKX ALL once again...